"Today we can confidently state that we expect to see a cure for devilitch within the next six months," Furness claimed as he read from a prepared speech. "Our long planetary nightmare is over."
First documented in 3064, the chronic skin disorder colloquially known as "devilitch" initially appeared among fishermen from the Thouret district. That year saw greatly increased precipitation and storm activity in the tropical regions of Ashburton which violently disturbed the ocean floor and caused repeated brown tides across the globe. Scientists have long speculated that some previously unknown microorganism brought to the surface and subsequently dispersed through the atmosphere was causing the outbreaks of devilitch but identification of the exact organism responsible has eluded researchers for years.
Symptoms of the condition range from redness and minor irritation in mild cases to incapacitating itching in the worst outbreaks. Sufferers in extreme cases have been known to injure themselves while attempting to claw the outermost layers of their skin from their bodies. The skin condition receives its name from the full-body redness seen in most sufferers.
Treatment of devilitch has been hampered by the apparent uniqueness of each infection. The microorganism that causes devilitch reacts uniquely with the body chemistry of each victim, which accounts for the wide range of symptoms experienced and makes it difficult to formulate a general course of treatment. Most patients find relief in a variety of herbal salves and traditional remedies.
Immediately after today's press conference, DHW switchboards were swamped with calls and the local network crashed under the strain. Service was restored within three hours but the volume of inquiries about the new treatment is a testament to how devilitch has plagues this world for nearly a decade.